My heart is full.

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My heart is full. That’s not a very generic way of expressing yourself. Purpose, people and perception; three very simple yet hard to achieve aspects of your life. Today I will be shedding light on what exactly constitutes a full heart and how these could affect you.

 

 

Good afternoon Ms Yuling and fellow classmates, today I will be sharing about my self-reflection on what constitutes a full heart.

 

A year ago, I would have said that I felt that my heart is empty. But today, I can confidently say that my heart is full. My heart is full. What does that mean exactly? Like the phrase, “is the cup half full or half empty?”, everyone has different ways of understanding and defining it. For you, it could mean just being contented with what you have in life. Or it could mean that you feel overwhelmed by a certain emotion because of something or someone. For me, having a full heart means feeling both of the things I said earlier, both emotionally and mentally. This consists of three different parts, or what I call the three most important “P”s in my life. Purpose, People and Perception.

 

P-U-R-P-O-S-E. Purpose. What is purpose? Nope I know what you’re thinking. It’s not Justin Bieber’s album. Defined by the dictionary, it means the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists or a person’s sense of resolve or determination. To sum it up in one word, meaning. Have you ever wondered what’s your purpose in life? What you were meant to do in this world? Are you living or just simply existing? Because I believe that no one person is an accident and that every single one of us has a meaning in life. This is something similar to the question we’ve all grown up hearing. What do you want to be when you grow up?

 

Growing up, I’m pretty sure we’ve all aspired to have certain occupations or be certain people. Like being the next Ed Sheeran or a forensic scientist or perhaps even a lawyer. After getting my GCE-O level results, I chose a course and a place I liked. And I thought that was it. I thought I was living with a direction, with motivation. But once I entered, the frenzy, the excitement and just pure confusion overwhelmed me all at once. Furthermore, I got an offer into a course my parents chose for me. At that point in time, I felt lost. It felt suffocating.

 

Why? Because society values action over silence. Society doesn’t give you the time to think, to question, to reflect about yourself and how you felt. In fact, most of us aren’t given a choice. Since young, we’ve been told what we’re supposed to do, to study, then get a job, get married, start a family and provide for them. There isn’t any pause button for me and you. We just go through this cycle deemed as the right way by society. We live our life based on others’ experiences, the success stories and failures of others. How we should definitely study hard and get into university because that is only right. How we should not end up like the old cleaners on the street or under our HDB blocks. In fact, many of us don’t really know where and what we are doing. Because the undeniable truth is that we’re so focused on what we want and hope to achieve that, we simply forget about the world around us. And worst of all, we lose ourselves. So, stop. Stop and listen to yourself, listen to your heart, know how you feel. Most importantly, ask yourself endless questions like “Does this make you feel happy?” and “Who exactly am I?” Don’t worry if there isn’t an answer to every question you ask yourself because this is just the first step.

 

However, during those six months before school started again, I tried loads of different things from working part time at a tuition center to writing short poems and volunteering at WWF Singapore and so on. I jumped from interest to interest and finally, I learnt what I really wanted to do and that was to help others and be a voice for the people. Sounds kind of ambitious, doesn’t it? And so, I rejected the offer. It’s a long arduous journey but working towards my purpose in life gives me this sense of fulfillment every day.

 

People, an overused word taken for granted in every situation. However, I don’t believe that my heart would be full if it wasn’t for the people around me. If there is one thing that could fill my heart other than blood, it would be the love and concern I have been showered upon by others. Let me give you this analogy. There’s a transparent cup half filled with water and a ping pong ball floating on top of the water. It seemingly fills in the gap, but not quite. That was me a year ago. There’s another transparent cup overflowing with water. That’s where I am today.

 

I used to try taking the easy way out. I would find things to fill the void that I felt inside such as by binge eating, which can be referred to as the ping pong ball. And let’s just say, I learnt that binge eating is one of the worst ways to face this problem the hard way. Over time, I realized that binge eating slowly became a habit, a routine. I would come home, get myself a snack to eat, then get another snack or two, and eventually more because I just didn’t feel “full” yet. Instead of filling the void I felt inside, the emptiness I felt within just became bigger. I felt frustrated and miserable for doing that to myself. It was as if I was stuck in this vicious never-ending cycle that I couldn’t get out.

 

I was so thankful when the people around me showed concern and asked me how I was doing and even offered to help. Their initiative and encouragement was what spurred me on to slowly but surely, stop binge eating. They made me feel like we were a true family and gave me motivation when I was feeling down or unsure of myself. It sounds really cheesy but they made my heart feel warm and overwhelmed with their love and concern. With their support, I felt that I was ready to take on the world and any upcoming challenges that I would face.

 

Surround yourself with people that you enjoy being with who understand and care for you and radiate positivity. Because these people are the ones who will most likely stick through thick and thin with you. So, show your appreciation to them constantly. Don’t take them for granted as they might not always be there. Do nice things for others without an agenda. Start small. Help return their tray after they are done eating or lend them a pen if they need. Or just by saying a simple “Thank you” makes so much of a difference. Sounds quite easy but in reality, it’s hard. But, I would like to tell you that although it’s hard at first, it’s worth it in the end.

 

Lastly and most importantly, perception. In layman terms, the way you see things. There are a million ways to view an issue, a situation, a problem. In fact, a report in the journal Nature Neuroscience as well as, researchers at Yale University discovered similar findings; that every brain is as unique as our fingerprint. Simply put it, No two brains are alike. Each and every single one of us has our set behavior or way of doing things.

 

Like what Wayne Dyer said, “What we think determines what happens to us, so if we want to change our lives, we need to stretch our minds.” How we think affects the how we treat ourselves. None of the above two factors would have impacted me if I did not change the way I thought. Your thoughts shape the way you work. Previously, I read too much into it and I associated myself with all the pessimistic thoughts and things that others said about me. And that was the thing. Because my mind was so used to thinking negatively, I didn’t even try to find a way out. I was just drowning myself in a pool of negativity. I didn’t have self-confidence, and had little self-esteem.

 

However, I decided that I wanted to be more than this. I didn’t want to be defined by these negative things. I wanted to be better, stronger and think more positively of myself. So I began this happy journal. Every week, I would write down how I felt and most importantly, something that I felt happy and positive about. I also began sharing with others how I felt and that helped me a lot. I changed the way I perceived certain things. For example, I used to think that I was the most boring and awkward person on earth. But guess what? Many people shared their opinions of how they thought I was one of the funniest person they’ve met. I learnt that I wasn’t who I thought I knew I was. I just needed to believe in myself. And I believe everyone sitting in this room can too.

 

In conclusion, I would like to just say that though the road to gaining a full heart is hard, tiring and though you might face setbacks and obstacles along the way, I assure you that the end result is worth it. And you. Yes, every single one of you in this room. Having a full heart starts with you. You have the choice to start leading this new lease of life. So, I dare you. I challenge you to start. Start using these three “P” s in your life. Remember, purpose, people and perception.

 

Thank you.